The Job Applicant and the Foot-Long Fingernails

I believe that people have the right to have their fingernails whichever length they choose.

I’ve found some of the very long, curl over, can’t-scratch-your-chin-for-fear-of-putting-an-eye-out variety a bit confusing and a little scary, but it’s your right and I’ll keep my thoughts to myself. (Except here, because, really, why have a blog if you’re going to keep your thoughts to yourself?) But, in real life, I keep my mouth shut.

 

Personally, I can’t fathom how a person with the aforementioned nail length is able to participate in any activity of daily living, from getting dressed, to eating, to bathing. But these folks are still breathing, so I guess they manage. Impressive, actually.

 

So, if people choose to have super-length nails, they must have some plan on how to support themselves.

Some are, possibly, part of a family or couple that allows for them to sit regally with their hands clasped. (Can you clasp your hands with those nails?)  But probably not all.

 

Which brings us to the question of work. (You knew I’d get here eventually.) I can’t really think of any profession for which having those nails would be an advantage, but people have to do something to earn a living.

 

It does not seem to me that providing direct care (bathing, clothing, feeding) to another human would be the first choice of a person with foot-long fingernails, but they have to do something and we have already ascertained that they are already quite talented, as they are still alive themselves.

 

So, when an excessively-long-nailed person came to interview for a job I was trying to fill, I averted my gaze and asked the interview questions.

 

I’ll call her Mary. That probably wasn’t her name. I don’t remember her name, or what she looked like. I don’t remember anything but her nails.

 

Mary said all the right things, appeared to have had some appropriate experience, and was offered a position, contingent upon getting certain clearances, one of which required being fingerprinted. And yes, we would pay for the clearances.

 

Mary apparently did not find this satisfactory. She called the next day and said she would have to have her nails taken off in order to do the fingerprinting. Finally, I think! She’s coming to her senses.

 

But no.

 

Mary wanted to be reimbursed for the cost of having her fake foot-long nails taken off and then replaced after the fingerprinting.

 

I hope she has someone to take care of her, as I don’t see her earning a living any time soon.

 

Leave a comment to tell me how you would have responded.

fingernails too long for a job interview

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